9 Feb

Accessory edition.

Clothing is one thing, but sometimes the accessories paired with what would be an elegant dress are just all wrong. Case in point: Christina Aguilera. All the time. The girl’s been my idol since the age of 9, but seriously who lets her near that much bleach??? (I won’t mention the recent Superbowl debacle. Girl needs a break.)

Let’s start with the antithesis: The Hooker Heel.

Platforms are great – don’t get me wrong. But can anyone realistically walk in these? I mean, no matter what, you’re going to look less than sophisticated when you show up standing a full foot taller than your natural height.

For classy sexy, try these instead:

1. Michael Kors Naples Leather Platform Bootie. Peep toe: Gooood. Snakeskin: gooood. Open heel: gooooood.
2. Pelle Moda Intrigue. Normal-sized platform: perfect. Strappy accents: extra perfect.
3. L.A.M.B. Crepe Bootie. Peep toe: sexxy. Sheer textile accent: So Sexxxy. Blush color: Super Sexxy.

Jewels. Antithesis: The Hooker Hoop. Apologies to anyone reading this who may be wearing them.


Replace with:

1. Juicy Couture Baguette Chandelier. The Chandelier. Long chains: sexy.
2. Elizabeth and James Knuckle Ring. Just hot. But still classy. Unique.
3. Label Lab Gold Knotted Necklace. Chains: hot. Knot: tie me up sexy. Without saying too much.

Modern times are tough. There are so many wrong choices to make. But it sure as hell beats the days of the corset. Ouch mami.


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